Parenting for Independence:
Overcoming Failure to Launch in Autistic Emerging Adults
You love your emerging adult more than anything — but they didn't come with a manual for what to do when they’re stuck, shut down, and refusing your help. This book is that manual!
You’ve tried everything you can think of, but nothing seems to motivate them to move forward with their life. And now you’re tired. Stressed. Scared about their future — and yours.
My book, Parenting for Independence, will help you stop walking on eggshells and start building the kind of relationship that helps your emerging adult acquire the skills needed to maximize their self-sufficiency through my SBN™ parenting framework.
It’s not too late. You’re not alone. And you don’t have to figure this out by yourself.
What You Get When You Order the Book
📣When you order Parenting for Independence, you get more than a book—you’ll receive:
👉 Step-by-step guidance for using the SBN™ parenting framework to activate an autistic emerging adult’s intrinsic motivation and foster independence.
👉 Stories, exercises, and real-world strategies to strengthen parent–child relationships and reduce conflict during the transition to adulthood.
What if the “tough love” you’ve been told to use by everyone from friends and family to supposed “experts” is the very thing keeping your autistic emerging adult stuck? I know that heartbreak. I’ve lived that fear. And after years of watching my son spiral despite doing “everything right,” I discovered a better way—one that led him (and our family) out of survival mode and into real, lasting change. He is thriving today beyond my wildest dreams. Now I’m sharing that journey—and the proven framework behind it—with parents like you.
Love, Patty
Watch: How the Book Came to Be
🎥
📣“You NEED to get this information out there.” That’s what parents kept telling me.
✨After years of coaching families and seeing real transformation—relationships healed, autistic emerging adults thriving—I knew I had to share what I’d learned.
🧠 These tools don’t exist in mainstream parenting books. That’s why I wrote Parenting for Independence for parents of autistic emerging adults who were stuck.
📚 If you’ve read all the books and still feel stuck…this is the one that’s different.
🎥 Watch the video to learn about one of the ways you can help that is effective, and order your copy today.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
What is the SBN™ parenting framework, and will it work for my situation?
The SBN™ parenting framework, designed by me and detailed in the book, teaches you how to use the right combination of Support, Boundaries, and Nudges to help your autistic emerging adult move forward — even if they’re deeply stuck, demand avoidant, or burned out.
What if my emerging adult has a PDA profile or shuts down with any kind of pressure?
This framework was custom-built to work for the PDA profile of autism, and it works with humans in general, so it is very likely to work for you. In the book you will learn how to better understand your emerging adult's individual autism profile, how to talk in a way that encourages them to engage, and how to apply the framework to minimize triggering shutdowns or meltdowns, and what to do if you do.
I’ve tried everything. Why would this work when nothing else has?
Most parenting advice wasn’t designed for neurodivergent minds. This framework works with your emerging adult's neurology, not against it. It's autism-informed and respectful of them and their goals for their life, even if they don't have goals they can share with you yet.
My "emerging adult" is already in their 20s (or 30s or 40s). Is this book for me?
If your autistic child still depends on you more than is sustainable for you — regardless of their age — this book can help.
What if I'm exhausted and don't have the energy to learn anything new?
That’s exactly why you need this book. It doesn’t add to your to-do list — it removes the guesswork and gives you a simple structure to make more effective choices, with less emotional labor. The result? Less stress, more confidence, and progress that actually sticks. I will not lie though. This is very hard work, BUT what I found and many of my clients find is that when you start doing more of what works and remove the energy-drain of things that don't, you start to see glimmers of progress that fuel your future efforts.
What if I’m outside the U.S.?
It’s available anywhere in the world where Amazon ships.
Watch: When Helping Hurts🎥
📣What if the way you are “helping” your emerging adult is part of what is holding them back?
🦋When a butterfly is emerging from its chrysalis, the struggle is what gives it the strength to fly.
💪The same is true for your autistic emerging adult.
🌱They need the right kind of struggle to grow—and you can help them navigate it if you know what to do and not do.
🎥 Watch the video to hear how this book came to life, and order your copy today.
Early Praise
Learning Patty’s parenting framework was like putting on glasses and seeing details that used to be blurry and being given a map and compass and everything else you need for the journey.
Cheryl G., parent of an autistic emerging adult
Parenting for Independence fills a gap that has existed for far too long.
There are very few resources that speak directly to the messy, beautiful,
and complicated space between childhood and adulthood for
autistic individuals. Patty Laushman brings clarity, compassion, and
hard-earned wisdom to this journey. Her SBN™ framework offers just
the right mix of structure and encouragement, helping parents feel
capable and supported. This book meets parents where they are and
helps them move forward with confidence, even when the path is
uncertain. I’m excited to share it with every family I work with.
Meghan T. Lee, PhD, clinical neuropsychologist, founder and CEO of Horizon Neuropsychological Services
Neurodivergent individuals are different in important ways. Therefore, as a parent, I need to change my ways of parenting to help him. Patty’s framework gave me a greater understanding of my son and the tools to improve our relationship and help him become independent.
Maureen C., parent of an autistic emerging adult
Combining educational and psychological research, ample support and honesty for parents, and decades of experience, Laushman has nailed it. Her honesty, willingness to be vulnerable, and extensive
research to understand young adults who are hampered by PDA
is remarkable. This book offers empathy coupled with a clear decision-making framework for when to support, when to check your own
boundaries, and when to nudge. This is THE book for the challenging
transition years.
Rachel Bédard, PhD, licensed psychologist and co-author of A Spectrum of Solutions for Clients with Autism: Treatment for Adolescents and Adults
This book made me feel so seen as someone who wasn’t diagnosed
until I was twenty-three. It’s rare to encounter someone who really
gets it, but Ms. Patty shows she truly understands what I experience
from an autistic adult perspective. This book is like a window into the
way my brain operates, so others can also gain that awareness. It’s
such a relief to see my challenges articulated on the page and realize
I can finally be perceived in my fullness without misunderstanding.
S. Jones, autistic adult
In Parenting for Independence, Patty Laushman offers practical tools
for parents who are unsure of how to support their autistic young
adult, as well as guidance for navigating this often murky stage of life with more clarity, calm, and respect (both for ourselves and our kids). If you’re struggling to figure out how to be supportive without overstepping, this book will help you feel less alone as you walk alongside
your child.
Debbie Reber, founder of Tilt Parenting, author of Differently Wired
Watch: One Terrifying Moment
🎥
📣“Mommy, why are you hurting me?” That question from my five-year-old stopped me cold.
🧩I didn’t know then that his experience of the world was fundamentally different—and that traditional parenting advice would only make things worse.
💡This book began with moments like that—terrifying, confusing, and filled with love—and the determination to find answers that actually helped.
🤝If you’ve ever felt like something important is missing from the advice you’ve been given, you’re not alone—and there is a better way.
🎥Watch the video to hear the story behind it all, and order your copy today.
Ready to Start Moving Forward?
You don’t have to wait for rock bottom. You don’t have to keep walking on eggshells. And you don’t have to live in fear of what will happen when you’re no longer there to hold everything together.
With the SBN™ parenting framework, you’ll finally have the clarity, tools, and hope you’ve been looking for — without having to change who your child is.
This isn’t just another parenting book. It’s a lifeline for families stuck in survival mode.
