Through the Parenting for Independence Progam...
You will go from feeling chronically frustrated, shut out, and disempowered as a parent to having the relationship, confidence, and skills needed to help your autistic young adult gain momentum – even if they struggle with demand avoidance.
Learning alongside other parents, you will also discover that you are very much not alone.
Before I tell you all about this program, let's make sure you're a good fit.
Do you resonate with any of these descriptions?
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You’re the parent, guardian, or caregiver of a neurodivergent teen or young adult.
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You are feeling chronically frustrated, shut out, and disempowered as a parent.
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You may worry that they don't have the skills to maneuver social settings, manage daily living necessities, gain and keep a job, or create friendships and other meaningful relationships.
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You may struggle to have meaningful conversations about your (very valid) concerns before they become defensive, shut down, or melt down.
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Your child may be demand-avoidant and not moving forward in school or career.
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You may feel hopeless because your child seems unmotivated, stays locked in their room, and struggles to interact with the people living in your house.
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Your child may have been recently identified as autistic and now you want to learn how to best support them.👍🏼
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You're sick and tired of walking on eggshells.
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You’re ready to ditch what doesn’t work and start doing more of what does.
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You’re prepared to uncover who your child actually is (rather than who you think they are or want them to be) so you can apply the strategies that work for them.
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You're willing to give up some of the control to gain your freedom in the process.
If you resonate with this, you're in the right place!
I have been there. I have prevailed. And I have been teaching other parents like you exactly how to transform their situations step-by-step.
Parenting for Independence will give you the tools, skills, encouragement, and unparalleled support needed to create a better life not only for your young adult – but also for you!
With my proven step-by-step approach, by the end of the Parenting for Independence program, you will have learned...
1
Their Autism Profile
What your child's autism profile is (so you can do more of what works)
2
Communication
How to communicate so they engage – and everyone stays emotionally regulated
3
Support
How to best provide them support, which deepens your relationship with them
4
Boundaries
When and where to set boundaries that improve your own quality of life
5
Nudges
When and where to nudge them outside their comfort zone so they can grow
6
Motivation
How to unlock their motivation so they get in the driver's seat of their life!
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What's inside the 7 lessons of the Parenting for Independence digital course?
1
Understanding Your Adult Child's Autism Profile
You will gain a better understanding of why autistic adults often struggle with the transition to adulthood, start to identify the factors that are holding your adult child back, and develop insight into what may be happening in the moment when interacting with your child.
2
Building Your Relationship With Declarative Language
Here I introduce you to the SBN Parenting Framework™, the magical differences between imperative and declarative language, how to construct a declarative statements, when, where, and how declarative language should be used, and how to engage your adult child in conversation to better understand what they are experiencing, deepen your relationship with them, and motivate them.
3
The SBN Parenting Framework™: Support
The goal of this lesson is to gain a better understanding of the support section of the SBN Parenting Framework™. You will five ways to support them when they are feeling challenged, four ways to support them when they are not feeling challenged, ultimately deepening your relationship with them.
4
The SBN Parenting Framework™: Boundaries and Nudges
This is where you learn where to push and what to let slide. You will learn the rules for setting boundaries and giving loving pushes that will maximize your chances of success, identify areas in which you can set boundaries with your child, and identify areas in which you can give then the nudges they need to grow in self-sufficiency.
5
Advanced Communication Skills for Overcoming Demand Avoidance
Knowing where to set boundaries and give nudges is not enough. You need advanced communication skills to execute your plan, and this is where you will learn them – eight of them. Then you will put together a plan to use these new communication skills to have a difficult conversation with your child about your boundaries or areas in which you need to nudge them.
6
Executive Functioning Skills 101
In this lesson you will learn about the 11 executive functioning skills and what it looks like when someone struggles versus is skilled at each of them, which will help you complete your child’s autism profile. You will also learn three ways to stack the odds in your favor of helping your child increase their ability to function independently.
7
How to Tap Into Their Motivation and Get Them Moving
The ultimate goal of this entire course is to get your child in the driver’s seat of their life, moving forward to living their best life. This requires motivation. In this lesson you will learn the three prerequisites to having motivation, four pillars of motivation, ideas on how to leverage the four pillars to increase your child’s motivation, and how to troubleshoot a lack of motivation.
These bonuses to help you generate and keep momentum all the way through
Plus!
Inside the Parenting for Independence course alone, you get for you and one parenting partner...
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Seven step-by-step lessons on how to help your autistic young adult thrive
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A framework that gives you confidence in when to push and when to let things slide
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A deeper, better relationship with your child
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An understanding of what is happening when they are demand-avoidant and skills for overcoming this
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The ability to get them moving toward a better future
That's $997 in value x 2 without the bonuses
Plus you'll be backed by a risk-free 14-day guarantee
If you're on the same path I was, you've tried so many things already that haven't worked. You've spoken with experts, done your own research, and relied on your own life experience – to no avail (or you wouldn't still be reading this).
I get it! You are not afraid to invest in help as long as it actually helps!
So here is why you can place your confidence in a money-back guarantee and set any enrollment nerves aside.
By the end of 14 days, you'll have received access to the Parenting for Independence online course plus experienced two group coaching calls, the online community, and two support pod finder events.
This means you'll have had the opportunity to really experience what this program is about BEFORE making a final financial commitment.
If you at least watch the first two lessons, and you don’t feel this program is a fit, simply reach out to me by 4 pm MDT on September 16, 2024, tell me why the course was not a good fit for you, what you expected that you did not get once inside the program, and I will gladly give you a refund. Read the full details here >>
Burning questions other parents have asked before grabbing their access👇🏽
When do the group coaching calls happen?
The calls happen each Tuesday starting at 5 pm MDT (Denver, U.S.A.) for the eight weeks of the program starting September 3, 2024.
What if I can't make it to all the group coaching calls?
This is not a problem at all. Remember that your program fee covers you and one parenting partner, so if your partner is able to attend, they can ask questions for you. The group coaching calls are also recorded and hosted inside our private platform during the duration of the program, so you can always watch the replay. You also have an opportunity to log your questions before each call, and the questions are answered in the order they are received, so you can ask your question beforehand and just watch the replay. Please remember that you also have access to the online community 24/7 for questions that can't wait, as well as your support pod members.
Who is the program NOT for?
In order to effect changes in your child, you will be making changes to the way you interact with them based on a deep understanding of their autism profile and new skills you will learn. If you are only looking for support because you are not in a place where you can make these types of changes yourself, this program may not be for you (yet). We have a free moderated Facebook group for parents of autistic adults where you can find some of the support you need among other parents. Check the the Services section of this website for info on the "Parents of Autistic Adults Support Group." This might be your next best step. Also, if you or your child are in crisis, and your child is not in mental health or substance use treatment, the timing is not right for this program. There is no substitute for licensed, autism-informed and -affirming care, and this needs to be your priority right now. If you don't know where to find qualified help, please try contacting the Autism Speaks' Autism Response Team and ask for recommendations.
What if my parenting partner is not in sync with me on this?
Obviously, the optimal situation is for all parents to be in sync and provide consistency in their approach. In the real world though, this rarely happens (though it's amazing when it does)! You can absolutely start the program on your own. What often happens is that when the other parent starts seeing that you're getting results, they become more curious and interested in learning what you are doing. And remember the digital course and handouts are yours for life. Your partner can do the course at any time. There is no rush other than your own sense of urgency.
What if my adult child doesn't live with me?
The changes you will see in your teen or young adult are based on the changes you will make to the way you show up in your relationship with them and the skills you implement that encourage their forward momentum. The more opportunities for interaction the better, but many families come to this program with teens and young adults who live in the same house but barely interact. Some families come to this program with adult children living out of state for whom you are providing an unsustainable amount of remote executive functioning support. The bottom line is that the more opportunities you have to interact with your child, the more influence you can have, and these changes can happen regardless of where they live if you have frequent interaction with them.
How does the teen and young adult 1:1 coaching work?
While completely optional, if your teen or young adult child is ready to begin making progress toward their goals, it's really powerful when both the parent(s) and young adults are working on making progress at the same time. It's a situation that can feel like 1 + 1 = 3. At any time, you have the option of adding individualized 1:1 coaching sessions from a highly skilled autism life skills coach who has worked with other autistic individuals on similar goals. Your child will meet with us to discuss what they are hoping to get out of coaching, and we will pair them with the best-fit coach from our team. Your child and the coach will set a SMART goal at the beginning and measure progress toward that goal as the sessions progress. Sessions will happen over Zoom, and are scheduled at a time that works for your child and the coach.
Will I get updates on what my teen or adult child is working on with their coach?
If your child is 18+, this will be completely up to your child. Many times the young adults prefer that their parent(s) are copied on the coaching summaries. Sometimes they will prefer to keep this information private, and we honor their preferences. If your child is under 18, we encourage you to have a conversation with them about this before meeting with us to make sure you are on the same page about this.
Is there a 1:1 coaching option for the parents?
Yes! If you would like to also work 1:1 with a parent coach before, during, or after the program, we can pair you with a coach from our team who is trained in the SBN Parenting Framework™ that Patty created and the course is based on. There will also be limited availability to work privately with Patty as well during the eight-week program. If you would like to explore beginning 1:1 parent coaching now with a certified coach to get optimally prepared for success once the program begins, please schedule a complimentary consultation using the link on the contact page of this website.
I'm already overwhelmed. Are you sure I can do this?
I can only speak to this from personal experience. At the moment our situation began to turn around, I was exhausted, burned out, and even traumatized beyond anything I'd experienced before. What helped me dig out of that (and ultimately help my son thrive) was starting to do things that actually worked. There was not an overnight turnaround, but each success I had with him generated the energy I needed to do it again and to try the next things that would work. Slowly but surely, we dug our way out. I didn't get all the tools and skills at once like you will. You will have the benefit of lots of things that work in a very short period of time, but only you can decide if the timing is right for you.
How much time and effort is this going to take?
Let me ask you first how much time you’ve already put into things that haven’t worked? Can you afford to continue down that path? Each week’s video lesson is between 20 and 40 minutes. The group coaching calls are 60 minutes. You can spend as much or as little time in the online community and support pods as you like. You will want to practice the skills you are learning, but these should be worked into your normal interactions with your child. I believe you will want to block off a few hours a week, dive in, and follow the step-by-step processes that guide you toward unlocking your child’s potential. I promise you won’t regret it. And you might actually enjoy the process.
When will you be offering this program again?
This program is offered twice a year. The next cohort will likely begin in mid-February. If you're worried about timing, keep in mind that you have lifetime access to the course and anyone you connect with in the support pods, which often outlast the eight-week program. Many parents also say they want to do the course again after finishing it the first time because the material is so densely packed into the lessons that they can't possibly learn it all the first time through. If you're worried about the price, I can also guarantee it will not be offered at a lower price than it's being offered today.
How do I know if this will work with my PDA child?
I designed every little detail of this step-by-step program around my son's PDA profile. He taught me almost everything I know as a parent, so what works for those with PDA permeates the entire program. It also generally works great with human beings because it's extremely respectful in its approach. I won’t be teaching you anything tricky or manipulative. The focus is on understanding their individual profile, affirming their neurodivergence, and working WITH their profile rather than forcing them into a box they’ve never been able to fit into, even if they convinced you (and themselves!) through masking that they could – at least until they couldn’t. The only caveat is that if your child is actively struggling with major mental illness or substance use challenges, the focus of your engagement with them needs to be on getting the appropriate professional help. This needs to be the first step on their path to a more meaningful and productive life.
How do I get access for my parenting partner too?
When you place your order, there is a field where you can enter their full name and email address. They will receive an email within 24 hours with their login details.
I have another question you haven't covered.
Just contact me through the email form here and ask away!
If you're thinking "this sounds amazing but I'm still not 100% sure...
You should give the Parenting for Independence program a 21-day risk-free shot if you're motivated by any of the following:
1
You want your life back. BADLY.
Whether this is your only child you're worried about or you have other children (or parents) to care for, you will hear me say repeatedly that YOUR needs and preferences matter too. If worry consumes too much of your life – and there is a 21-day risk-free guarantee – it seems you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
2
You're not afraid of putting in the work.
By now in your parenting journey, you fully understand that there is no such thing as a free lunch, and you will often get out of it what you put in. This works a whoooole lot better though when you're focused on things that work. And you will learn what those things are step-by-step.
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You recognize there is no perfect time, and waiting is not the answer.
This doesn't mean you don't break a sweat when you think about pressing the buy button below and investing in your and your child's future. But it does mean you're fully aware that it's one day or Day One of your life and only YOU can decide.
The Parenting for Independence program isn't magic
But it *IS* full of powerful tools, skills, and strategies that will help you help your child figure out what they want that's realistic, tap their motivation, and get them on their path.
Whether you and your child have a pretty good relationship and just need some specific direction...
Or whether your child is completely shut down, burned out, demand-avoidant, and not engaged with most anything...
Parenting for Independence can get you where you and your child want to go.
(I know this is hard to believe. I would have been dubious myself eight years ago.)
But here is a little fact...
Not a single client has ever come to me confident in their approach. Like me, most had experienced intermittent successes but had no idea what was working so they could re-create the success as needed.
After doing this as long as I have, I've noticed a pattern in the parents who have the most success.
It's those who demonstrate the greatest level of persistence and the ability to get up when they (or their child) fall and try again. Try differently, hopefully, because you know what they say about doing the same thing over and over again...
Many felt guilty that they'd not been able to figure it out before coming to me, and this is a really tough thing to live with, but I'm here to tell you that it's not your fault. You didn't know what you didn't know. But we can fix that!
Like Maya Angelou said, "Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better."
This is all you can do.
Are you ready to do this???
I can't wait to meet you, teach you, and cheer you on inside Parenting for Independence!
Dedicated to your success,
Patty