Executive Dysfunction Anxiety

By Patty Laushman

If you or your autistic or ADHD emerging adult struggle with executive dysfunction and also experience anxiety, you’re not alone—and you’re not imagining a connection between the two. These challenges often go hand in hand. Many neurodivergent individuals experience difficulty with tasks like planning, organizing, or following through, and at the same time, they may feel intense anxiety about keeping up with daily responsibilities, meeting expectations, or managing uncertainty.

But how exactly are executive dysfunction and anxiety related? Can one cause the other? Do they feed off each other? And what can we do to break the cycle?

Let’s walk through what’s really going on and why understanding this connection can be a game changer for neurodivergent individuals and the people who love them.

What Is Executive Dysfunction?

Executive functioning is a set of mental skills that help us initiate tasks, manage time, set goals, remember important information, shift between tasks, regulate emotions, and follow through on responsibilities. When these skills are relatively undeveloped for the individual’s developmental stage, they are considered to have executive dysfunction. 

Executive functioning skills are managed by the brain’s frontal lobe, and no one is born with them. They develop gradually over time until about the age of 25, but they can be strengthened with skills training like some of the coaching done at Thrive Autism Coaching, and where an individual’s ability is maxed out, external supports can be implemented.

Examples of executive dysfunction in action include:

• Not being able to start a task when it’s time to begin

• Struggling to create a plan and stick to it

• Having no idea where to get started on bigger tasks

• Forgetting things you need when you leave the house

• Making impulsive decisions and acting on them 

• Struggling to manage frustration

For many neurodivergent individuals, executive functioning skills don’t come easily—and that’s not a character flaw. It’s part of how their brain is wired, and this brain wiring also often leads to tremendous strengths. Unfortunately, that’s not where most people focus. 

There is a lot of pressure externally to improve these skills that can be so difficult to learn, and the reality is that they often negatively impact the individual’s quality of life when they aren’t able to create the life they want due to these challenges, and people around them who don’t understand the root cause of their challenges attribute negative character traits to them, like laziness or a lack of caring, which is completely not true.

Executive functioning challenges are common in autism, and they can vary widely from person to person.

What Is Anxiety?

Anxiety is a natural response to stress, uncertainty, or danger. But for many people, including many neurodivergent individuals, anxiety can show up frequently and intensely, even when there isn’t an immediate threat. It can even become incapacitating.

Anxiety might look like:

• Racing thoughts about what could go wrong

• Constant worry about being late, forgetting something, or messing up

• Avoidance of tasks or situations that feel overwhelming

• Trouble sleeping, irritability, or restlessness

• Feeling frozen or paralyzed when it’s time to act

Autistic individuals in particular may experience anxiety for a variety of reasons: social challenges, sensory overwhelm, unexpected changes, or the constant pressure to mask or keep up in a world that doesn’t always understand them. Another major contributor to this anxiety is executive functioning difficulty.

How Executive Functioning Challenges Can Lead to Anxiety

Imagine waking up in the morning and feeling completely unsure how to start your day. You know you have things to do—maybe work, school, errands, or even just taking care of basic needs—but figuring out what to do first feels overwhelming. You try to get started, but your mind goes blank. You keep thinking, “I need to do this,” but you just can’t begin.

Now imagine that happens every. Single. Day.

When someone struggles with executive functioning, especially task initiation and planning, they may constantly feel behind. They might miss deadlines, forget appointments, or fail to follow through on what they meant to do. They often know what needs to be done, but they just can’t figure out how to get themselves to do it.

Over time, this can create intense anxiety:

• Fear of disappointing others

• Worry about the consequences of missed tasks

• Panic when there’s no clear plan

• Shame over not being able to “just do it”

Many neurodivergent adults say they live with a constant undercurrent of stress and dread because their executive functioning challenges keep creating problems they can’t seem to get ahead of. And when their anxiety increases, everything gets even harder.

How Anxiety Can Make Executive Functioning Worse

It’s not just that executive functioning issues cause anxiety. Anxiety can also make executive functioning worse!

When we’re anxious, our brains go into fight, flight, or freeze mode. This stress response is great for immediate danger, like escaping a bear in the woods, but it’s not helpful when we’re trying to write an email, do our laundry, or start a job application.

In a heightened state of anxiety:

• Our ability to think clearly goes down

• Our working memory (mental notepad) gets overloaded

• Our brain gets stuck in loops of “what if” thinking

• Our ability to prioritize or make decisions plummets

So when someone is already anxious, tasks that require executive functioning like planning, organizing, or switching between activities can feel nearly impossible. The brain simply doesn’t have the bandwidth.

This creates a vicious cycle:

1. Executive functioning challenges make it hard to get things done.

2. Falling behind causes anxiety.

3. Anxiety makes it even harder to access executive functioning skills.

4. More things get missed, avoided, or left unfinished.

5. The person feels more overwhelmed and anxious.

   
   

Breaking this cycle takes both understanding and support.

Why This Matters for Neurodivergent Individuals

Many neurodivergent individuals are told they’re just “not trying hard enough” or that they “need to be more responsible.” But these labels miss the real problem and they make everything worse by adding shame to an already overwhelming situation.

When we understand that anxiety and executive functioning issues are often connected, we can:

• Stop blaming neurodivergent individuals for behaviors that are neurologically based and wondering if executive dysfunction is real

• Provide supports that reduce both the anxiety and the task demands

• Offer skills training that builds confidence rather than reinforces shame

For parents, recognizing this connection is a powerful step toward more effective, compassionate support. It helps shift the focus from “How do I make them do the thing?” to “How do I help reduce the overwhelm that’s keeping them stuck?”

You can’t control them, but you can control the environment in which they operate because as a person in their environment, you can control how you show up in your relationship with them. According to self-determination theory, the environment is critical to activating intrinsic motivation and keeping them moving toward their best life. 

Executive Dysfunction Tips

There’s no one-size-fits-all solution, but here are a few strategies that can help autistic and ADHD adults (and their parents) manage the overlap between executive functioning and anxiety:

1. Externalize the Executive Functioning Load

Instead of relying on memory or internal motivation, use tools:

• Visual checklists like a note in your phone

• Timers and reminders (but don’t overdo it or you will learn to ignore them!)

• Calendars and planners for mapping out important projects and responsibilities

• Written step-by-step instructions

These tools can reduce the mental load and make tasks feel more doable.

2. Break Tasks Into Microsteps

Big tasks can feel impossible when executive functioning and anxiety are both at play. Help break things down into very small, concrete steps. Instead of “clean your room,” try “just put your dirty clothes in the hamper.”

3. Validate and Normalize the Experience

Simply acknowledging that what they’re experiencing makes sense can go a long way. Try saying, “It makes sense that this feels hard. Your brain is trying to manage a lot right now.”

4. Lower the Demand When Needed

Creating low-demand environments, even temporarily, can help reset the nervous system. This doesn’t mean you’re giving up even though it might feel like. You’re simply creating the space and safe environment needed to recover from overload and regain functioning.

5. Use Gentle Structure

Structure can be helpful, but only if it’s predictable and flexible. Routines that are too rigid can cause more anxiety, but having a basic daily rhythm can support both executive functioning and emotional regulation.

If Anxiety is Getting in the Way

When someone is stuck in a moment of executive functioning struggle—unable to start a task, overwhelmed by too many steps, or frozen by indecision—it's important to first address the anxiety that’s showing up. 

Start by pausing and taking a few slow, deep breaths to signal safety to the nervous system. Gently name what’s happening without judgment, such as, “This feels really hard right now, and that’s okay.” If possible, step away briefly from the task to reduce pressure—stand up, stretch, or change your environment. 

Then, shift focus to just the very next step rather than the whole task. Reassure yourself (or your loved one) that it’s okay to take things one small step at a time, and that struggling doesn’t mean you’re totally failing. It just means your brain needs a little more support right now.

Final Thoughts on Executive Functioning and Anxiety

The relationship between executive functioning and anxiety is real, powerful, and often misunderstood. For neurodivergent individuals, this combination can create a cycle of avoidance, overwhelm, and stress that makes daily life feel harder than it needs to be.

But with the right support and compassion (and self-compassion!) for how autistic and ADHD brains work, it’s absolutely possible to reduce both the anxiety and the executive functioning challenges over time. Understanding this connection is the first step.

Whether you’re a neurodivergent adult trying to manage your own tasks or a parent trying to support your neurodivergent emerging adult, please remember that there’s hope. These struggles are real, but they’re not permanent. With insight, the right strategies, and support that honors neurodivergent ways of thinking, things can get easier.

Questions & Answers: Executive Functioning and Anxiety

Q: What is executive dysfunction?

A: Executive dysfunction is when a person struggles with the mental skills that help them manage their thoughts, actions, and emotions in order to reach goals or complete everyday tasks. When someone experiences executive dysfunction, it doesn't mean they don’t want to do something. It means something in their brain is getting in the way of doing it, even if they really want to.

Q: Is executive dysfunction real?

A: Yes! This is what every individual with executive dysfunction wants you to know. It is a well-documented neurological phenomenon that affects how a person organizes, plans, starts, and completes tasks, and it can have a very real impact on daily life.

Executive dysfunction is not just someone being lazy, unmotivated, or irresponsible, though those things can be happening as well. It’s a brain-based difference that can make everyday tasks feel much harder than they seem on the outside. It often affects people who are intelligent, creative, and capable—but who struggle to translate intentions into action.

Q: Can anxiety cause executive dysfunction?

A: Yes. When someone is anxious, their brain is in survival mode, which makes it harder to think clearly, plan ahead, or get started on tasks. Anxiety can temporarily shut down access to executive functioning skills like decision-making, organizing, and remembering important details.

Q: Can executive functioning challenges cause anxiety?

A: Absolutely. When someone struggles to get started on important tasks, follow through on activities needed to achieve their goals, or generally stay organized, they often fall behind or fail to meet others’ expectations. This can create constant stress, self-doubt, and fear of failure, all of which contribute to anxiety.

Q: Why do these challenges often happen together n neurodivergent individuals?

A: People whose brains are wired differently often experience differences in executive functioning, and they also tend to be more vulnerable to anxiety due to factors like sensory overload, social expectations, and pressure to mask. The overlap is very common.

Q: Is it just laziness or lack of motivation when someone isn’t doing what they should be doing?

A: Just to be clear – being lazy or unmotivated can and does exist in neurodivergent individuals just like it does the more neurotypical population. It’s just that neurodivergent people also often have an extra skills-based challenge that can have a profoundly negative impact on their quality of life. Executive dysfunction and anxiety can create invisible barriers that make even simple tasks feel impossible. With the right support though, motivation and functioning often improve.

Q: Can executive dysfunction be improved?

A: Absolutely, but it’s important to note that improving executive functioning skills requires leveraging other executive functioning skills that may not be very strong, which is why it requires a high level of motivation. Tools like visual supports, predictable routines, low-demand environments, and step-by-step guidance can make tasks feel more manageable. Just as important is reducing pressure, validating their experience, and approaching the challenges with compassion instead of blame.

What is an executive functioning coach?

An executive functioning coach is someone who helps individuals build the skills they need to manage daily tasks, reach goals, and feel more in control of their lives. Coaching is supportive and practical, and it’s focused on helping the client understand how their brain works, identify what’s getting in the way, and develop personalized strategies that actually work for them. A coach will help the individual understand their unique challenges, co-create systems and tools that work for them, provide structure, accountability, and encouragement, and teach self-awareness and self-advocacy. 

If you’d like to explore whether working with an executive functioning coach on our team is a good fit for you, you can schedule a complimentary consultation here.